I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
My teenage son came home last week and said, 'Dad, there's something I have to tell you. I've been trying for years to come to terms with it, but the fact is I'm gay.'
That must have taken some courage to say. I wonder how he's coming to terms with being homeless
What goes plink plink fizzzzzz
Two spastics in a bath of acid.
The city of Detroit police department has announced this morning that all German Shepherd police dogs will be replaced by Coon Hounds due to the fact that the city is not having any problems with Germans.
Don't you hate it when you're driving along, smoking a cigarette, and you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive for a couple more miles, and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and, sure enough, Grandma's fingering herself again...
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating. As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination. "At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse. "I haven't got an erection" said the man. "No, but I have" replied the nurse.
I woke up bald this morning! Obviously the wife misunderstood me when I suggested she shave her cunt!
One thing is certain about the Japanese earthquake:
We're not going to be short of fucking photographs.
Don't send any money in for the Tokyo Tsunami Appeal, they are minted. I have just seen a bloke on telly getting interviewed outside his house and he has two fucking massive boats on his drive....
How can you spot a japanese prostitute?
She's the one in the fishnets.
Just got off the phone to my Japanese friend, expected him to talk about the quake, but there must be a party cause he kept talking bout a big rave
come back to my place, I'll show you how to drink tequila.
The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you isn't it."
"I don't know what you mean. Sit down luv and let's talk about it."
That's when I pulled her chair away.
I was just about to post that one....Originally Posted by Softdreamer
Seeing as the Japanese love endurance games, I think we should leave it at least a month before we send any rescue teams.
There seems to be a lot of Japan jokes going round.
Must be something in the water.
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