Post what you are thinking at this very moment

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I think her exact expression was - I heard that during ____'s visit you guys had a serious conversation and you got the last word.

He went to the ER...really hal??

Mom and Dad wouldn't appreciate that....


She made a good point

No, but would they appreciate the way he has been treating you since everything has happened? So all in all, he got what he deserved and maybe, just maybe, it will have humbled him a bit/ I guess you won't find out about that though until you have to interact with him next time.

[Hal-9000]

No, but would they appreciate the way he has been treating you since everything has happened? So all in all, he got what he deserved and maybe, just maybe, it will have humbled him a bit/ I guess you won't find out about that though until you have to interact with him next time.

Your post is all full of logic and correct ideals...there's truth there but also embarrassment. I know something is gone and being very serious and then shutting up about it, I think my desire for his approval is gone along with helping my self esteem a little. It felt like reaching a destination without knowing I was going somewhere. I know for sure next time we see each other in person he'll be listening more attentively

[Hal-9000]

Must be my day to bitch.

Saturday night at around 10:30 I get a call from the cordless phone at the place that looks after my Mom.

A nurse in very broken English says my Mom had a temperature, didn't use the bathroom etc and I asked how long has this been going on for and how is she now?

Person says they gave her Tylenol and her temp came down to 37.2 (which is normal body temperature), she took some fluids and used the bathroom.

So I ask - You're making me worried calling here with this information. Is there something I should do?

She says - Oh no, just wanted to tell you before the night nurse came on duty.




I had just visited my Mom on Friday, she was fine. I called there yesterday morning and person on duty tells me things are normal. WTF?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Must be my day to bitch.

Saturday night at around 10:30 I get a call from the cordless phone at the place that looks after my Mom.

A nurse in very broken English says my Mom had a temperature, didn't use the bathroom etc and I asked how long has this been going on for and how is she now?

Person says they gave her Tylenol and her temp came down to 37.2 (which is normal body temperature), she took some fluids and used the bathroom.

So I ask - You're making me worried calling here with this information. Is there something I should do?

She says - Oh no, just wanted to tell you before the night nurse came on duty.




I had just visited my Mom on Friday, she was fine. I called there yesterday morning and person on duty tells me things are normal. WTF?

That's just ridiculous to call you with information like that when everything ended up being fine.

[Hal-9000]

They called me one Sunday morning to tell me they were painting the hallways.

Every time that number comes up on my cell I instantly brace myself and think about my next actions and phone calls that need to be made.

And if I say - Stop phoning me with trivial shit! They'll take it the wrong way and not call again.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

They called me one Sunday morning to tell me they were painting the hallways.

Every time that number comes up on my cell I instantly brace myself and think about my next actions and phone calls that need to be made.

And if I say - Stop phoning me with trivial shit! They'll take it the wrong way and not call again.

Oh I know, it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

[Hal-9000]

I shouldn't put that place in a bad light. They do care about my Mom and all of the workers know her and her needs.

They also know who I am and readily approach me when a I visit giving me little updates.

I thought for some reason Saturday was the start of the end of her life and while I don't want to see her go, I've changed my attitude on what mercy really is.

Like cancer, dementia is a horrible disease and takes everything. My Mom had a bite of the cookies I made on Friday and that was everything for me. Wish I could get her back

[Hal-9000]

Okay that was too depressing.

I've got places to clean and resumes to be ignored!

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I shouldn't put that place in a bad light. They do care about my Mom and all of the workers know her and her needs.

They also know who I am and readily approach me when a I visit giving me little updates.

I thought for some reason Saturday was the start of the end of her life and while I don't want to see her go, I've changed my attitude on what mercy really is.

Like cancer, dementia is a horrible disease and takes everything. My Mom had a bite of the cookies I made on Friday and that was everything for me. Wish I could get her back

I know how you feel, trust me. Towards the end with m y dad, the stroke just devastated him. He was nearly impossible to understand and he never made it comfortable to visit. I couldn't even get him out of his room (which had no chairs and he had a roommate because we couldn't afford a private room) to go to the common area. He rarely would interact with us when we went, most of the time just staring blankly at the TV changing the channel every 30 seconds. I hate that is the last memories of my dad that I will have. So even though it's for different reasons (dementia vs stroke) I can completely sympathize with you.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Okay that was too depressing.

I've got places to clean and resumes to be ignored!

We can ignore you here too

[Hal-9000]

I know how you feel, trust me. Towards the end with m y dad, the stroke just devastated him. He was nearly impossible to understand and he never made it comfortable to visit. I couldn't even get him out of his room (which had no chairs and he had a roommate because we couldn't afford a private room) to go to the common area. He rarely would interact with us when we went, most of the time just staring blankly at the TV changing the channel every 30 seconds. I hate that is the last memories of my dad that I will have. So even though it's for different reasons (dementia vs stroke) I can completely sympathize with you.

Watching someone get old is never easy. I just said to my sister that now Mom is 'current Mom' and I have troubles remembering her before the dementia. My only advice is memories are selective meaning you can select them too. Try to remember the better times with your Dad, like maybe watching a game together or just eating a meal. I remember when it was you and him against the world...no wife and kid, no house, no smart phone...

My Mom and Dad took us out the backyard one day to explain his will. One sheet of lined paper with his life on it within a few lines. My Mom specifically said - If I end up losing my mind just shoot me, don't put me in a home where people have to look after me. My Dad agreed and said the same thing.

Now, the conversation between my sister, brother and I is - What happens if one of us starts showing those signs? We've all seen cancer and dementia first hand and that changes everything.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Watching someone get old is never easy. I just said to my sister that now Mom is 'current Mom' and I have troubles remembering her before the dementia. My only advice is memories are selective meaning you can select them too. Try to remember the better times with your Dad, like maybe watching a game together or just eating a meal. I remember when it was you and him against the world...no wife and kid, no house, no smart phone...

My Mom and Dad took us out the backyard one day to explain his will. One sheet of lined paper with his life on it within a few lines. My Mom specifically said - If I end up losing my mind just shoot me, don't put me in a home where people have to look after me. My Dad agreed and said the same thing.

Now, the conversation between my sister, brother and I is - What happens if one of us starts showing those signs? We've all seen cancer and dementia first hand and that changes everything.

Yeah, it sucks. Life can be extremely cruel sometimes, that's for sure.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Speaking of health issues, I have to try and see if I can get my blood pressure down a bit

[Hal-9000]

One of my best and worst memories of my Dad was watching the last concert of the Tragically Hip. Gord Downie had been diagnosed with brain cancer and my Dad asked me who he was, why was this so important to Canada?

After watching a few songs my Dad said - Well it's not my music but I sure admire that young man's courage. I bet he's got a lot of doctors with him.

My Dad was just in the diagnosis/treatment phase of his cancer and we averaged two appointments per week. Consultation/imaging, then treatment.

I watched one Grey Cup, one Super Bowl and one tragically Hip concert with him before he left me

[Hal-9000]

Speaking of health issues, I have to try and see if I can get my blood pressure down a bit

Oooh, results from your physical?

Hey I was cleaning the BBQ this past weekend because I hadn't used it for years. I cut my thumb with the wire brush and immediately thought of you and the tetanus shot

Brush and BBQ was filthy. I'm not sure what all of the crap was I cleaned out of it as I'm the only one who's used it