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05-26-2017, 06:13 PM
#541
Shelter Dweller
Just bought some Viagra tea bags.
They don't improve your sex life, but they stop your biscuits going soft.
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05-27-2017, 08:59 AM
#542
weapon of mass consumption
Why do so many Australian men suffer premature ejaculation? Because they have to rush back to the pub to tell their mates what happened!
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to redred For This Useful Post:
DemonGeminiX (05-31-2017),
RBP (05-30-2017),
The Monk (05-30-2017)
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05-27-2017, 09:00 AM
#543
weapon of mass consumption
Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia? He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to redred For This Useful Post:
DemonGeminiX (05-31-2017),
RBP (05-30-2017),
The Monk (05-30-2017)
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05-27-2017, 09:13 AM
#544
Shelter Dweller
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
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The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to lost in melb. For This Useful Post:
DemonGeminiX (05-31-2017),
RBP (05-30-2017),
redred (05-27-2017),
The Monk (05-30-2017)
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05-27-2017, 09:16 AM
#545
weapon of mass consumption
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The Following User Says Thank You to redred For This Useful Post:
lost in melb. (05-27-2017)
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05-30-2017, 04:51 AM
#546
Shelter Dweller
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The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:
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05-30-2017, 04:53 AM
#547
Shelter Dweller
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The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:
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05-31-2017, 04:58 AM
#548
Shelter Dweller
My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried?
Apparently "balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.
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05-31-2017, 04:58 AM
#549
Shelter Dweller
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
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05-31-2017, 05:01 AM
#550
Shelter Dweller
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger Woods can just about drive a golf ball.
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05-31-2017, 05:07 AM
#551
Shelter Dweller
My wife complained that I never see things from her point of view...
So I looked out of the kitchen window!
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06-14-2017, 08:25 AM
#552
Shelter Dweller
Shaving with a razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one.
But I don't have the balls to do that anymore.
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06-15-2017, 03:00 PM
#553
Shelter Dweller
I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit's feet...
I thought 'He's pushing his luck!'
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06-15-2017, 03:03 PM
#554
Shelter Dweller
Son: What's love juice daddy?
Me: It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?
Son: Wimbledon
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06-15-2017, 03:09 PM
#555
Shelter Dweller
I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper?
She said they're old school and handed me her iPad.
That fly didn’t stand a chance.
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