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Thread: My Own Joke Thread - SFW, NSFW & Offensive Content

  1. #676
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says "What's that?" He says "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear".

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  3. #677
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Guy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, gives him a big hug and kiss and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips off her panties and says "This is for the flowers!" "Don't be silly" says the guy "You must have a vase somewhere!"

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  5. #678
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
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    WORST GOLF FOURSOME IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME

    1. STORMY DANIELS
    2. O. J. SIMPSON
    3. TED KENNEDY
    4. BILL CLINTON

    1. STORMY IS A HOOKER
    2. O. J. IS A SLICER
    3. TED CAN'T DRIVE OVER WATER, AND
    4. BILL CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST
    I'm no Gynecologist but I know a cunt when I see one.

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  7. #679
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Why did god create man before he created woman?

     

    Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.

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  9. #680
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Standing on an Ikea podium from Sweden, behind bullet proof Saint Gobain Glass from France, smiling at a 4K Sony Japanese Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser German microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in Switzerland, he patriotically said "Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants". While standing beside a Slovenian wife.

  10. #681
    OMWTFYB RBP's Avatar
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    What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

    A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
    The only "B" word a woman should be called is beautiful.
    Bitches LOVE being called beautiful.

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