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Thread: My Own Joke Thread - SFW, NSFW & Offensive Content

  1. #766
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    The cashier at the liquor store asked to see my ID. As I was fishing it out, my old Blockbuster card fell out onto the counter. The cashier immediately said, "Nevermind, you're good."


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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    KevinD (09-22-2021), Muddy (09-23-2021), PorkChopSandwiches (09-22-2021), The Monk (09-23-2021)

  3. #767
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.

    So I gave her nothing.

  4. #768
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Dubai spent billions on a bunch of man-made islands and they are now sinking.

    I guess all the money in the world can't help erect-isle dysfunction

  5. #769
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Dated a blind girl once
    Her name was ::. :.. .:. ::: :............

  6. #770
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    I was going into the local shopping centre when a dishevelled beggar jumped in front of me.

    Beggar: "Any change mate?"

    Me: "I don't have any change".

    Beggar "C'mon..."

    Me: I don't have ANY change".

    Beggar: "I can't accept that".

    Me: "Sigh! You can't accept that? jeez...okay okay, will you take a note?"

    Beggar: "Sure... that would be great!" he said with a grin. So I took a piece of paper and a pencil out of my briefcase, wrote "I don't have ANY FUCKING CHANGE!" handed it to the prick, and walked off.

  7. #771
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".

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    lost in melb. (09-24-2021)

  9. #772
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
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  10. #773
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    When I was a kid, my mother told me that I could be anybody I wanted to be. Turns out she was wrong about that. Identity theft is a crime.


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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    lost in melb. (09-24-2021)

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