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Thread: My Own Joke Thread - SFW, NSFW & Offensive Content

  1. #676
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says "What's that?" He says "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear".

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  3. #677
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Guy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, gives him a big hug and kiss and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips off her panties and says "This is for the flowers!" "Don't be silly" says the guy "You must have a vase somewhere!"

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  5. #678
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
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    WORST GOLF FOURSOME IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME

    1. STORMY DANIELS
    2. O. J. SIMPSON
    3. TED KENNEDY
    4. BILL CLINTON

    1. STORMY IS A HOOKER
    2. O. J. IS A SLICER
    3. TED CAN'T DRIVE OVER WATER, AND
    4. BILL CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST
    I'm no Gynecologist but I know a cunt when I see one.

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  7. #679
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    Why did god create man before he created woman?

     

    Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.

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  9. #680
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Standing on an Ikea podium from Sweden, behind bullet proof Saint Gobain Glass from France, smiling at a 4K Sony Japanese Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser German microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in Switzerland, he patriotically said "Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants". While standing beside a Slovenian wife.

  10. #681
    OMWTFYB RBP's Avatar
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    What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

    A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
    The only "B" word a woman should be called is beautiful.
    Bitches LOVE being called beautiful.

  11. #682
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    I am writing for a good friend of mine. His wife told him to go out and obtain some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came back, he handed her diet pills. Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.

  12. #683
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    A blonde woman strode angrily into the large store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The blonde's eyes got very large, and she whispered "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are for cats?"

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