I've been diagnosed as colour blind.
To be honest it came right out of the purple!
I've been diagnosed as colour blind.
To be honest it came right out of the purple!
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit!
DemonGeminiX (10-14-2016), RBP (10-08-2016)
My best mate just fainted on the London eye..
But it's okay, he's slowly coming around!
My friend David has lost his ID
We now call him Dav.
RBP (10-15-2016)
I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
redred (10-15-2016)
A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..."
Three scientists decided to try and break the world record for largest pig in the world. after lots of careful research and planning, they decided that that the best way to go would be to put a cork in the pigs butt and overfeed him. After 3 months of feeding, they submitted their pig to the judging for the Guinness book of world records. After winning the title, they needed to remove the cork from the pig and they decided the best way to do this would be to have a trained monkey pull it out. All four were in the room when the monkey pulled the cork and next thing they remember is waking up in the hospital. The doctor asked the first one what the last thing he saw was. "Piles and piles of shit" was his reply. The second one answered this question "piles and piles and piles of shit." When the third was asked this, his answer was "I remember the poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
Police looking for a man who stabbed 6 people with knitting needles.
He seems to be following some sort of pattern!
Opinions are like orgasms...
Mine is more important, and I don't really care if you have one.
RBP (10-22-2016)
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
RBP (10-22-2016)
Originally Posted by The Monk
I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.
There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol has on walking... the result was staggering
I was laying in bed last night.
My wife said "Honey, make me scream with your finger"
So I poked the bitch in the eye.
I love a girl with a nice well trimmed bush.
It makes it easier to see through her window at night.
I took my dog to the park today to play frisbee with him.
He was useless!, I need a flatter dog.
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