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Thread: My Own Joke Thread - SFW, NSFW & Offensive Content

  1. #541
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Just bought some Viagra tea bags.

    They don't improve your sex life, but they stop your biscuits going soft.

  2. #542
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    Why do so many Australian men suffer premature ejaculation? Because they have to rush back to the pub to tell their mates what happened!

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  4. #543
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia? He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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  6. #544
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
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    What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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  10. #546
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  14. #548
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried?

    Apparently "balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.

  15. #549
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    Marriage is like a deck of cards.

    In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

    By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

  16. #550
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    What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

    Tiger Woods can just about drive a golf ball.

  17. #551
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    My wife complained that I never see things from her point of view...

    So I looked out of the kitchen window!

  18. #552
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    Shaving with a razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one.

    But I don't have the balls to do that anymore.

  19. #553
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    I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit's feet...

    I thought 'He's pushing his luck!'

  20. #554
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    Son: What's love juice daddy?

    Me: It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?

    Son: Wimbledon

  21. #555
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    I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper?

    She said they're old school and handed me her iPad.

    That fly didn’t stand a chance.

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