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Thread: My Own Joke Thread - SFW, NSFW & Offensive Content

  1. #586
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    "Daddy, what's a transvestite?"

    "Ask your mother, he'll tell you!"

  2. #587
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    "Mum! I'm going out!"

    You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt!!

    "Why?"

    Because I can see your balls, Richard.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:

    richard3280 (09-05-2017)

  4. #588
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number". I looked at her and said "Have you got a pen". She said "I sure do". I said "Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you're missing".

  5. #589
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    A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl. She asked me for my number. I told her that these days, we usually use names.

  6. #590
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    What's long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts, and goes in tarts?

     
    Rhubarb

  7. #591
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    My wife's fanny smells like roses.

    But Rose's fanny is tighter.

  8. #592
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    Facebook is a bit like checking your underwear after a fart, most likely there's nothing new, and if there is, it's probably shit.

  9. #593
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  10. #594
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    I only believe in 12.5% of the bible - I'm and eighth theist....

  11. #595
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    The guy to convince the first blind man he needed sunglasses must have been one hell of a salesman.

  12. #596
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    A woman weightlifter goes to the doc's:

    "I've been taking steroids, & now I've grown a cock"

    "Anabolic" says the Doctor

    "No just a cock!"

  13. #597
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    I met a girl with 12 nipples today

    Sounds fun

    Dozen tit

  14. #598
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    What a day! The police came around and accused me of stealing my neighbours underwear...

    I nearly shit her pants!

  15. #599
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    I see that #WorldSightDay is trending today.

    I didn't see that coming.

  16. #600
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    Opinions are like orgasms...

    Mine is more important, and I don’t really care if you have one.

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