Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Canadian, eh?

  1. #1
    Wibble! beowulf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Monkey Hanger Town, UK
    Posts
    2,816
    vCash
    3000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 279 Times in 144 Posts

    Canada Canadian, eh?

    Top reasons to be Canadian.........

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
    1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
    2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
    3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
    4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
    5. Weed.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
    1. Big rock between you and B.C.
    2. Ottawa who?
    3. Tax is 5% instead ofthe approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
    4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
    5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
    6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
    1. You never run out of wheat.
    2. Your province is really easy to draw.
    3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
    4. People will assume you live on a farm.
    5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
    1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
    2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
    3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
    4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
    5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
    1. You live in the centre of the universe.
    2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
    3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
    4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
    1. Racism is socially acceptable.
    2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
    3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
    4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
    1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
    2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
    3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
    4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
    1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
    2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
    3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
    1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
    2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
    3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
    4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
    5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
    6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
    1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
    2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
    3. The workday is about two hours long.
    4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding..............................

    They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams

  2. #2
    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    On the Discovery
    Posts
    92,176
    vCash
    1000
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Thanks
    5,803
    Thanked 11,849 Times in 8,184 Posts
    a Canadian wrote that....too true

  3. #3
    He who laughs, lasts. Noilly Pratt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    The 49th parallel
    Posts
    4,896
    vCash
    1000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    1,534
    Thanked 1,016 Times in 705 Posts

    Update

    Corrected

    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
    1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges and a tunnel. You do the math.
    2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. check
    3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. Nope. 4!
    4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. And roadwork.
    5. Weed there's always 2nd hand smoke somewhere if you're cheap!

    Signature created way-back-when by Goofy

  4. #4
    Forever Alone! Loser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Surrounded by amish Q.Q
    Posts
    5,490
    vCash
    3000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    3,738
    Thanked 1,286 Times in 869 Posts
    3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
    Made me lol pretty hard

    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    I already have your name on my butthole...too bad the tattoo artist couldn't spell
    Looser
    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    murder my ass..shove it up my ass....both are beautiful terms of endearment

  5. #5
    Crazy Canadian!!! samarchepas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,892
    vCash
    3000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    118
    Thanked 103 Times in 52 Posts
    Top reasons to be Canadian.........
    TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
    4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouseNo I don't .

  6. #6
    Shelter Dweller Hugh_Janus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Riding this motherfucking beat like a tractor
    Posts
    12,602
    vCash
    3000
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1,582 Times in 1,192 Posts
    I remember him from AS

  7. #7
    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    On the Waters of Life
    Posts
    47,246
    vCash
    9653
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Thanks
    25,971
    Thanked 12,316 Times in 8,172 Posts
    Me too

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •