Howay!
Used to have a couple o albums few year ago. I can appreciate its not everyones cup o tea, and yi might not get the language, so i'll print lyrics!
Enjoy peeps!
LMFAO!
Newcy Brown
"How you doing, pal? Mind if I bother you? Me bird's buggered off in a BMW.
The cunt had a suit on, old enough to be her dad, I'd like to kick his bollocks
To Bollington and back."
Don't be a plank, she wasn't worth a wank, we'll go up town, we'll go down the Crown
You can buy a round of
Newcy Brown. There's loads more pebbles on the beach
Newcy Brown. There's loads more cobbles on the street
Newcy Brown. But did the bitch have massive tits?
"She was the best looking woman in all of Macclesfield,
She wouldn't talk to my pork, and her cunt lips were sealed
She couldn't give a shit about me, but she could give a toss
She had the best pair of melons I've ever come across."
Don't be a fool, she wouldn't suck your tool,
Don't be a clown, we'll go down the Crown, you can buy a round of
Newcy Brown. There's loads more carrots in the sick
Newcy Brown. There's loads more hairs around me dick
Newcy Brown. If the bag don't bonk then you fuck them off.
Don't fucking whinge, she had a sweaty minge, we've all banged her clout,
You're missing nowt, buy another round of
Newcy Brown. There's loads more insects on the dog
Newcy Brown. There's loads more pubes around the bog
Newcy Brown. I'd rather shag a colostomy bag.
Julie the Schooly
Julie was a schooly and she said she came from Stoke
Help her with her homework, she'll let you have a grope
Wears her knickers round her ankles, they're always full of stains
She'll swop a knucle shuffle for a note to get off games
But you can't take her down the pub, she's a bit of a hound
You can't order lemonade when you're buying a round
She leaves the upper fourth at a quarter to four,
She can bind like a whore, she can talk to your pork
And she bangs like a shithouse door when the plague's in town
She said she wanted plating, I dropped down to my knees
I stopped myself from fainting, she smelled of mushy peas
Then I found some carrots and I said that I'd be sick
She said that the last bloke was, and she swallowed half my dick
Now He's a Poof
One of my best mates came from Macc, we used to go out pulling crack
Now I know that was just a farce, he's got spunk dribbling out of his arse.
He's got scabs from snogging other men, we're never going to talk to him again.
He's gone all nesh, he's making us sick, we wouldn't give him cheese of us dicks.
Now he's a poof, we can't handle it
Now he's a poof, he does spermy shits
Now he's a poof, he leaves white stains wherever he sits
He's gone to pot, shaved his head, he's got some black bloke sleeping in his bed
AIDs and herpes? He's got them, the evidence is written all over his bottom.
Now he's a poof, he's got gonhorrea
Now he's a poof, he's a fucking queer,
Now he's a poof, he can't hold his fucking beer
He's never in the pub, he's no fun, sores and scabs all over his bum
We'll have to pin him down on the deck,
And pour some Boddies down his fucking neck.
Poof! He's an arse bandit
Poof! He doesn't like girl's tits
Poof! His willy is covered in shit
Poof! He's a fucking slob
Poof! He's got a shitty knob
Poof! He's got spunk all over his gob
Poof! He's a mincing gay. Poof! He's full of AIDs. Poof! He likes his buttocks splayed.
Poof! Tunnel tester, orifice officer, sausage jockey, pillow biter, uphill gardener, rear admiral,
Brown hatter, shirtlifter, anal adjuster, rectum rifler, turd burglar, arse bandit.
Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy
Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber,
Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her
Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust,
But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more
Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes
Game of darts and a lot of beer
'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?'
'Yes I can, always by the ears.'
Treat your women like toilets
They're happy when you're abusing them
But toilets don't follow you round when you've finished using them
Sweaty Betty
She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
So I said, Slap that and ride the ripples,
I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins,
she was a mound of flesh.
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies,
Sweaty Betty, she's got enormous thighs,
Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Betty, she'd crush a man to death.
I knew that she wanted me to shag her,
so I stabbed her xxxx with my mutton dagger.
I couldn't believe the size of her bum,
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm.
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips,
Sweaty Betty, she's got massive tits,
Sweaty Betty, she's got a huge vagina,
Sweaty Betty, you'd fit a bus inside her,
She's so obscene, three tons of margarine,
She's like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard.
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Originally Posted by beowulf
