Why did my boyfriend like Emily Ratajkowski's butt on Instagram?
by Ashley Carman - The Verge
My Instagram group chat with my two best friends was popping off this week. “Lmao at Chris liking this,” my friend Colin said to me. I opened the DM to find a photo @emrata, or model Emily Ratajkowski, had posted of herself on a boat with her butt looking good. See above for the post. Apparently Colin was going through @emrata’s feed, and because Instagram lists which of your friends has liked a photo, he saw my boyfriend Chris’ handle.
My immediate reaction wasn’t so much anger as it was confusion and dismay. Why did he like this photo? Is he so un-evolved that he can’t resist the allure of a butt pic? Obviously he liked the photo because he liked what he saw; I understand that, but I still don’t get it. It’s not like I’m afraid he’s going to leave me for @emrata, yet something about the action of his liking turns me off. At the core of my disdain, I think, is the fact that he likes models’ Instagram posts at all. Why like any celebrity’s photo? It’s not like @emrata saw his like and received a boost of serotonin from it. She wasn’t waiting around for him to see the photo, and probably isn’t even the one running her own Instagram. The same goes for all the Kardashians, Beyoncé, Selena Gomez, and Drake. Liking one of their pics is just sending a like into the void solely to boost their numbers.
I never like celebrities’ posts, other than Ina Garten. I save likes for people I know IRL and who I figure would derive joy out of the fact that I liked their photo. Celebrities don’t need me to acknowledge them, so I don’t. I might bookmark a photo, screenshot it, or send it to my friends to talk about, but I’ll never like. I recognize I might be alone in this behavior, so I polled my colleagues on their thoughts about liking celebrity Instagrams and to posit theories on why my boyfriend liked @emrata’s booty pic.
Kaitlyn: I like celebrity Instagram posts all the time. I liked the Beyoncé pregnancy announcement, just like 11 million other people (as of this writing). I like all of Sophie Turner’s posts, and all of the posts by the guy who plays Archie on Riverdale. I especially enjoy liking posts from Sarah Jessica Parker, whose Instagram is an extremely alluring mix of Amtrak hot dogs, piles of street garbage, and designer shoes. I like posts from Chance the Rapper because Instagram often informs me that my 18-year-old sister has already liked them, and that makes me smile. I like Kim Kardashian’s posts once in a while if North is in them because, my god, she is just the cutest. No offense but I don’t feel like I should have to explain my reasoning, as there really isn’t any and I’m not hurting anyone. Relax!
That said, your boyfriend liking this pic is a little weird, but mostly because he’s a boy. I don’t feel it’s too controversial for me to say that the rules of “Instagram creeping” are slightly different for me, a girl.
Megan: I am a chronic “never a follower, never a liker” of celebrities and that weird group of people that I guess fall under the “influencer” brand. I follow two New York-based models on Instagram, mostly because I like to imagine what my life would be like if I had money. Also, they post pictures of really good outfits. I say I could re-create those looks, but that’s a sweet lie I allow myself. My fashion sense is stripping entire outfits off mannequins at the mall.
I’m the wackadoo who will turn on private browsing to go stalk the accounts of celebrities (or even just like, CW show stars that I find hot, but would never admit to paying attention to). Like, dang, I’m all up in Nina Dobrev and KJ Apa’s feeds from time to time, trying to figure out who’s pals with who from their respective shows IRL. I also like to ponder how I, too, can get my teeth to shine so white that they may blind prospective mates. But, to paraphrase the 1997 classic film Titanic, a woman’s social habits are a deep ocean of secrets. These lil creeps are just for me.
Chris, I’m afraid, does not appear to be an ocean. I would dub him lake / 10, a scoring system that equates to, “well, that is a nice butt pic.”
Michael: I don’t follow many celebrities — Drake, Rihanna, and that’s about it. I don’t think I’ve ever liked any of their posts. I guess in my head, a like is a discrete message from the viewer to the poster that says, “I like what you did here,” or “Damn, WTF is that?” or “This is chill,” or “Wish I was there,” or “Yes, your dog is cute” — whatever it is.
What’s the point of sending a message if the person on the receiving end won’t see it — or couldn’t care less? Maybe you’ve developed a double tap reflex when you see something that pleases you. Maybe it’s performative — you’re trying to send a message to friends who follow the same celebrity that you, too, liked that celebrity’s photo. Honestly, I have no clue.
I don’t know why your boyfriend liked @emrata’s post. Maybe he’s hoping that @emrata will receive his message, which, in this case, probably translated to “this is chill.” If so, he’s delusional.
Lizzie: I would say the majority of the people I follow on Instagram are beautiful strangers who get Nikes sent to them for free, and I’ve never dropped a like on any of their posts. I’ll admit I’m pretty stingy with my likes in general, despite feeling an obligation to heart all of my friends’ posts. If I don’t give my dear friend Tara a like on her Icelandic vacation pic, why would I give one to a random streetwear model whom I follow for inspiration and envy?
Additionally, most of my follows are probably mid-tier Instagram celebrities — I’d guess they earn a decent amount of money just by looking cool in cool places, but they probably don’t get recognized when they go to the drug store. To me, this means that they’re still pretty normal people, and I don’t wanna look like a freak for liking pics of their bootleg designer logo T-shirts before I go to bed.
As for why Chris liked Emily Ratajkowski’s photo... maybe they’re cousins?
Paul: I'm really curious myself about what a like even means. Is it a Facebook poke? A personal declaration of liking something? A bookmark? A sharing action? It's easier for me to understand someone commenting on an Instagram post, even if they're lost in a sea of voices, because I understand talking. But a like? It's almost a meaningless form of communication.
I just pulled up my Instagram and counted the posts I've liked since I joined the service five years ago: 105. Most of my likes have gone to family, a few to close friends, and zero to celebrities. My likes are typically a "More of this, please!" sort of statement, which I would like to be heard.
Maybe likes on a celebrity photo could be seen as a sort of vote. Maybe in aggregate, Chris' encouragement of @emrata will lead her to produce more similar Instagram content in the future? If that's the case, while Chris' contribution was small, he's doing his part.
Zainab: Instagram is definitely my favorite platform, and it’s safe to say I’m a bit of an addict. There’s no meme I haven’t seen, or Tastemade video I haven’t watched. It’s a double-edged sword, though, because on one hand, I’ll find endless inspiration, but on the other hand, I’ll go down the rabbit hole for over an hour and end up on a flat-tummy-tea-promoting fitness girl who has an inexplicably small waist. I’m guilty of throwing certain celebs likes that they definitely don’t need from me, but those are almost always models that look like they were built in labs and have some semblance of a personality: Imaan Hammam, Irina Shayk, and Adriana Lima. @emrata is another “how do you look like that” type of person I follow on the 'gram solely for motivation to go to the gym. (I ended up unfollowing her later on because, yawn.) Other than that, I pretty much follow anyone whose music matters to me and news publications; I see it as my visual Twitter news feed.
There’s a bit of a double standard when it comes to a woman double tapping a butt on Instagram, but when I was scrolling down my feed one morning after a lovely night with my boyfriend, my eyes stopped on that butt picture from @emrata. I’ll admit, I stared — probably for an unhealthy amount of time — but what was I really staring at? My boyfriend’s handle in the “xyz & 800,000 people liked this.” So sneaky, Instagram algorithm. Others might not agree, but I have a problem with this! I find it so Neanderthal-esque that men can’t help but have their fingers slip and double tap a big, almost naked butt. The entire concept of my boyfriend, or boyfriends in general, following random “fitness” girls and models they'll never meet irks me. When they throw them a like is when it reaches another level of dumb for me. Not because I feel threatened, but because it’s such a simple thing to not do when you have a beautiful girl right in front of you!
Micah: I only follow three celebrities on Instagram — Beyoncé, Drake, and Rihanna, the holy trinity of great music and good Instagrams. Usually if I’m scrolling through my feed, liking a bunch of photos from friends, and I see something interesting from one of them, I’ll give it a double tap. But this happens far less often than I like my actual friends’ photos. There’s not much thought that goes into not liking celebrity photos besides “they won’t see it, so why bother,” but then again I’m (relatively) old, and Instagram likes hold no social value for me.
As for Chris, I’m not sure why he liked Emily’s Ratajkowski’s Instagram (again, why bother?), but I’m also not sure why it matters. (Please don’t tweet me your reasons as to why it matters.) People use Instagram in weird and different ways. I will say I am a firm believer in never commenting under a celebrity’s Instagram. It’s tacky and awful and no one should ever do it. Now if Chris starts commenting under Ratajkowski’s posts, well then we need to hold an intervention.
Chris, my boyfriend, who responded by text: “I didn’t really think about it; I just liked it.”
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Goofy
