most offensive one I've heard....
who is the most famous jewish cook?
hitler
My eldest daughter is named Summer, as she is my ray of sunshine.
My youngest daughter is called Spring, as she gives hope of what is to come.
And my son is called Autumn, as he has Down's Syndrome and keeps falling out of trees.
My missus looked hot today...
I could see her through the window as our house burnt down.
My wife has asked me to get her some gloves to wear at her mother's funeral.
Does anyone know where I can buy those giant foam fingers?
Quite apart from it being horrifically unhygienic not to wash your hands before picking your nose, sweaty fingers make the snot taste salty.
evEr nitoced how hwrd it is to tpye wiht yuor left hnd whsilt you are wnaking?
I find it hard to distinguish between muslim women and gay ninjas.
I was french kissing a girl last night.
Afterwards, I could still feel her tongue in my mouth.
This was probably why she couldn't tell me she had leprosy.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
The girlfriend just come to me in a foul mood telling me i was shit in bed last night.
I've never been so insulted!
Oh hang on... I stand corrected.
Apparently I shit IN the bed last night!
Phew.....that's a relief..
I've just seen an advert saying that four African children die every minute.
It certainly made watching my egg boil more amusing.
I heard that Justin Bieber has a 10 inch cock.
It's in his ass and belongs to Usher.
FOR SALE:
1 can of pepper spray (used once)
1 rape alarm, mint condition
womans pink thong, small blood stain on front.
Looking for quick sale, all offers welcome.
How do you know when a woman is to fat to fuck? You get her panties down to her knees and her cunt is still in them.