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09-02-2017, 04:26 AM
#586
Shelter Dweller
"Daddy, what's a transvestite?"
"Ask your mother, he'll tell you!"
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09-02-2017, 04:32 AM
#587
Shelter Dweller
"Mum! I'm going out!"
You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt!!
"Why?"
Because I can see your balls, Richard.
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The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:
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09-03-2017, 06:45 AM
#588
Shelter Dweller
I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number". I looked at her and said "Have you got a pen". She said "I sure do". I said "Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you're missing".
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09-03-2017, 06:45 AM
#589
Shelter Dweller
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl. She asked me for my number. I told her that these days, we usually use names.
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09-03-2017, 07:17 AM
#590
Shelter Dweller
What's long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts, and goes in tarts?
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09-07-2017, 01:17 AM
#591
Shelter Dweller
My wife's fanny smells like roses.
But Rose's fanny is tighter.
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09-07-2017, 01:21 AM
#592
Shelter Dweller
Facebook is a bit like checking your underwear after a fart, most likely there's nothing new, and if there is, it's probably shit.
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09-08-2017, 08:56 AM
#593
Shelter Dweller
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09-09-2017, 09:35 AM
#594
Shelter Dweller
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible - I'm and eighth theist....
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09-09-2017, 09:55 AM
#595
Shelter Dweller
The guy to convince the first blind man he needed sunglasses must have been one hell of a salesman.
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09-09-2017, 09:55 AM
#596
Shelter Dweller
A woman weightlifter goes to the doc's:
"I've been taking steroids, & now I've grown a cock"
"Anabolic" says the Doctor
"No just a cock!"
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09-09-2017, 09:56 AM
#597
Shelter Dweller
I met a girl with 12 nipples today
Sounds fun
Dozen tit
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10-12-2017, 07:04 PM
#598
Shelter Dweller
What a day! The police came around and accused me of stealing my neighbours underwear...
I nearly shit her pants!
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10-12-2017, 07:05 PM
#599
Shelter Dweller
I see that #WorldSightDay is trending today.
I didn't see that coming.
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10-24-2017, 05:58 AM
#600
Shelter Dweller
Opinions are like orgasms...
Mine is more important, and I don’t really care if you have one.
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