I had a guy at work try to shame me for saying I put ketchup on certain foods. He really became animated, making loud barfing sounds and screaming - HOW COULD YOU, HOW COULD YOU???
After he finished his performance I quietly said - When you start paying for my meals and putting my food into your BIG mouth, maybe I'll listen to you Raj. Besides you're East Indian and will eat the asshole out of a camel if there's curry on it, so shut the fuck up.
verbatim and yes, I had no shame