You gave me the Walter White scenario
Enabler
Zoinks, zoinks, zoinks
RBP (12-15-2017)
RBP (12-15-2017)
Went to a block Christmas party yesterday...I sat back and listened mostly. It consisted of everyone saying how they love their dog and the stories about them (don't have one so...), Christmas ornaments, Star Wars, and a long brag-fest about their kids and their accomplishments.
I said virtually nothing, especially at the kid part of the convo. I'm as proud as anything about my daughter, but it just seemed like one-upmanship. It was people talking AT each other, not TO each other. I spent my obligatory hour, drank my glass of wine and left.
I have to stop myself sometimes at being negative over the holidays...my Dad died on Jan 2nd, and my Mum contracted Cancer in the November and died Jan 5th so it's not exactly an "up" time for me. And, my 1 brother is estranged and the other one has begun life with wife 2.0 and really doesn't bother much.
Thankfully my wife's family is great and it becomes a celebration once we're in the swing of it. But I find the preamble of Christmas a bit draining. But my family and my wife's more than makes up for it.
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DemonGeminiX (12-18-2017), Goofy (12-21-2017), Hal-9000 (12-18-2017), RBP (12-18-2017)
Thanks for sharing Noilly.
Usually I like Christmas because I can give gifts to my family and be happy the people in my life are okay. This past year I lost my Dad, my Mom is in a home, and I've been having a tough time physically. So emotionally, physically and spiritually... I just want Christmas to go by this year. Something feels wrong about 'celebrating' and laughing when the two closest people to me aren't here anymore. Oh, I broke up with my part time girlfriend too.
My brother and I don't get along. He lives near Bumfuck Terrace, BC. He calls me in October:
him - Is it okay if we come out to visit you for Christmas this year?
me - No, that won't be a good idea (I give him the reasons above). I then say again no, Christmas won't be happening here.
My sister invites him out to her place on the island for Christmas. His response - We've already bought plane tickets and rented a car to go stay with hal in Calgary.
His daughter lives here in Calgary and made him the same offer to stay. He says no, he's coming here.
So if you're keeping track, he asks me if it's okay to come here, I say no and give him my reasons. He can spend Christmas at his place, at my sister's place or at his daughter's place. He elects to piss me off instead. I was one phone call away from changing the locks on my door before my sister talked me out of it. As it is, I have no tree set up, no outside lights and no food in the house. I'm hoping he tries to 'Christmas shit up' and then it's on..
Last edited by Hal-9000; 12-18-2017 at 08:21 PM. Reason: anger and sadness
DemonGeminiX (12-18-2017), Goofy (12-21-2017), Noilly Pratt (12-18-2017)
Hal - Isn't it nice when family asks you a question, and then completely rides roughshod right over you, ignoring your response? Man, I can definitely relate. I'm thinking they are thinking "Hal needs cheering up - he doesn't really know what he really wants" when in actual fact you do. I won't site every time that has happened in my family...this would turn into a novel...but just 1 example...
The brother I actually talk with did just that about 7 years ago. He came in from Ontario, and basically scheduled me to pick him up from the airport "because you have a minivan" etc. I did it, and ran him around Vancouver until my wife said "whoah...you're inconveniencing us for a brother who didn't ask, but TOLD" (there was something we needed to do but I altered plans and stepped on a few toes to accomodate). I just automatically slipped into that little brother role, which I used to do what was asked and then kick myself later. Ever since then, I drew a line in the sand and I've been saying "No" a whole lot more. And feeling a whole lot better about myself.
I guess you will have to grin and bear it as much as you can. Been there, done that, bought the alcohol to cope with it!
My father in law passed away a few months ago and we will celebrate Christmas at my wife's sister's place. One brother says that he wants to keep it quiet this year. As opposed to my family, who would probably stage an intervention and insist on a Dr. visit, and medication, they said "OK...if you change your mind, the door is always open."
I will raise a glass to you, Hal at Christmas. Family -- can't live with them...can't kill 'em...
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My sister used to pull that kind of superiority shit on me. I started buying guns and it stopped.
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Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.