"C'mon man" and "fuck you" thread

[Hal-9000]

Ahhh I fucked up big.

I'll try and be brief but it's tricky so feel free not to read -it's for my own catharsis to type it out I'll take any sage wisdom I can get though

So my mother-in-law is dating a real asshole. Dude is a grumpy fart in his late 60's, smokes pot 20 hours a day (which I'm usually not judgemental about except that he still does it no matter the occasion, including in front of my Christian family), he has never had a steady job or a family but thinks he's the model for all manhood and success in life. He's the type of guy who says he drives better high, that you're an idiot for keeping your money in banks, that whatever job you work, car you drive or house you buy is dumb. He'll tell you a piece of history you've just read about is a conspiracy theory. He thinks he can talk to dolphins - for real. He bashes religion and the Church in front of my religious parents. He skipped our wedding to avoid dressing up. It goes on like this. Frankly he's the worst communicators I've met in my life. You can't tell him a story without it becoming his story, or being told you're wrong. My wife, her sister and I can't stand the dude, but try our very best for mom. I wish you could meet him before I tell this story but anyways....


So he and my MIL were over for dinner along with my side of family this week. It was supposed to be a smaller dinner to meet my brother's new girlfriend, but my MIL guilted my wife into an invite, so that's fine even though my family all can't stand the boyfriend. Boyfriend comes over in a miserable mood, sits away from everyone being a turd while we're laughing and having appetizers. At dinner he takes only one item I've cooked and I ask him in a friendly way if he's on a health kick because usually he's a big eater, and he snaps 'don't worry about it.' Ok, I guess that's how tonight's going. So we're all chatting about some random topic after dinner he thinks only he knows about, and he gets on a soap box. Three people in a row make a point and he snaps at each one sequentially telling them: "you don't know what you're talking about," "you're wrong," and finally he says to my wife's point "Oh that's bullshit." I'd had it and snapped before thinking about it. I growled at him "you are so rude, you've talked down to three people in a row, it's unbelievable, it's not even just what you're saying it's how you're saying it." I didn't curse, but I was mad, and when he tried to make an excuse I said "no, you've belittled everyone at this table."

Everyone basically dropped their forks because I usually bite my tongue when he speaks. And despite pretending to be the penultimate tough guy, former fisherman with thick skin, he took it like a bitch. He took his keys and left. Queue my wife going upstairs to cry because the whole ordeal with her mom inviting herself to dinner was already a strain that week - and now I've nuked family dinner.

My parents are polite, highly non-confrontational people so they said they understood my frustration but were clearly horrified at what I'd done, rightfully so. My brother loved it which didn't help the situation. I went out to the car before my in-laws left to chase after and apologize, and asked them to come back in for dessert. They said it's all good but we should go (the boyfriend was clearly upset so clearly it wasn't all water under the bridge).

I sent them a sincere apology, apologizing for my outburst and embarrassing them, and I sent a planter basket of flowers which they thanked us for. My MIL is a gem and said 'family isn't all roses, these things happen.' My wife went for a long walk with her mom who is over it, but still defended him as 'he's sensitive.' They've 'accepted my apology,' but this dude takes no accountability for his shit attitude, and expects an in-person apology at the next get together (and still hasn't shown any remorse for his foul demeanor that night).

The next family dinner is going to be incredibly awkward. I have to suck up my pride apologize again, knowing full well this guy sees himself 100% as the victim... all I really want to do is tell this fucker that I stand by what I said and more, but I can't do that to my wife.

Lesson learned big time. It did not feel good to call him out regardless of how bad he'd asked for it. I've been losing sleep over it the past couple days. I'd bit my tongue for the last 7 years of this dude hanging around my family, I'll have to keep doing that. But fuck you.

As others have mentioned, it sounds like this guy needed to hear something and probably a lot more than you provided. I know it was hard for you because you were the person who broke the ice so to speak and you feel you should have remained under control despite this asshole.

Consider something GF. You're a self admitted pacifist of sorts in conversations and rarely if ever throw the gloves down during the face off. Something inspired you and it was him.

That's one thing I hate about today's world. You tell someone else they're being a jerk and all of sudden you're made to feel like the jerk for bringing it up or acknowledging it. You have to ask yourself, something made you get to that point of going past your normal range of expression. It was him, not you.

Just your description of him makes me cringe and I'm pretty passive myself about how people live their lives. Some people go through life with blinders on and think what they do and say are completely fine, because no one has told them otherwise. I think you did something good here.


...can't come to the wedding of the son of the person he's dating because he didn't want to get dressed up...fuck him.

...and he took it like a bitch